Each and everyone of us is presented with tests in our life. We have to deal with Tests when whether we are male or female. Tests are a part of life, no matter how hard we fight against them. For a long time, I was concerned about the struggles and battles of life. Afraid that I could not get through them alone. I was scared reckless. I was recklessly abandoning myself with so much reckless abandon that I forgot Lana Del Rey existed. Then I went through something really tough. I split up with my fiancé, Sam of two and a half years. It was the hardest and most difficult loss of my life. I could not imagine living without him. But, his mother was just like my former best-friend's ex's mother. Just the mildest version of her to be honest. A crazy, narcissist, maniacal lesbian out to get me around every corner. I had to come clean and break off my engagement.
Plus, he couldn't show up to my mother's funeral because he was too busy jerking off to porn. He has a sever porn and video game addiction. Just one of the many reasons we had to break up. And gosh, think about all the times you get disappointed at a guy for not making money, having manners, long-term goals, ambition, grace, kindness or enriching thoughts. He was actually the biggest loser (Unemployed Loser that is) that I had ever met in my life. Arn't all exes losers, when we look through the rear-view window?
He was also very lazy. He said he was scared of driving and facing up to his father, who was also full of regrets and just as abusive, cynical and full of toxic self-deceiving lies as him. Their warped view of reality actually led to him having a neurotic, mental breakdown and he had to be hospitalised into a mental institution. I could have sworn he was Schizophrenic. In actuality, he was another of those fobby brown guys you see in Toronto, waiting for a pair of legs to stick their frustrations into.
Anyways, so I got past all that and forgave myself for mistaking anyone for my own dad. And it's all in the past now. I have made tons of strides in my life, becomes closer to the Lord, and become more focused than ever on my future.
In case you are going through something tough, such a Breakup or Mental Health Struggled, always remember to love yourself first. Always take care of yourself. Don't ever let go of the people who make your feel loved and supported through the tough journey of life. When you are at a loss of support or feel the walls caving in on you, breathe through it. And always, always remember: Grace gets us through the tough lessons of Leadership and Hardships.
Tell them, (O Prophet): "Let them rejoice in Allah's Grace and Mercy..."
(Yunus 10:58)
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