5 Tips on Mastering Handwritten Christmas Letters

I have a confession to make.

I am a sucker for the timeless art of writing letters.

I write love letters to myself all the time actually.
Writing letter to myself was something I started a few years ago to help encourage myself to grow more. I also love writing letters to friends and family to remind them of what they mean to me. I truly believe that writing handwritten letters is something that will never go out of style.  In efforts to encourage you guys to show gratitude and goodwill towards your family and community, here are five tips on how to nail the art of handwritten letters.

1. Keep It Simple Stupid:

    While it's nice to have someone ramble on and on about how much well-wishes they hold in their heart for you, trust me it gets boring FAST!! Cut the gooey crap and get to the meat of the greeting by keeping your greeting down to 5-6 lines max. This will save your recipient the headache of reading through a parchment, the size of the Dead Sea Scrolls, just to find out how happy you were that they got the job promotion or had a baby this year.

    The only person this doesn't apply to is your spouse or significant other. In fact, do the exact opposite and write them an essay on all the ways they sparkled your life this year.

2. Personalize! Personalize! Personalize!

    It is absolutely crucial to cut to the heart of the person you're writing too. Otherwise, you might as well buy a hallmark card and put your name on it. The whole concept of handwritten notes is to make the other person feel special, because they are in fact very special. Even if it's for your pesky boss, they still deserve the work that goes into letting them know the things that they do for you, even if its just micro-managing your brains out.

    Kidding, don't put that on.
As seen in the picture beside this text, I attached Unicorn Stickers to the letters I am writing for my two best friends, because they are the most special girls on the planet. For me they are. You might have a brother or an aunt you are super close to. Try to think of some way to personalize the letter, either by drawing something that they are into (e.g., pets, Miami Beach) or make sure the note signifies you see all of them truly.

    If you don't have a way to personalize, it means you either don't know that person well enough and should be booking a lunch date with them or not writing a letter PERIOD.

3. Schedule a Time Slot:
 
    This goes without saying. Don't try to write meaningful, heartfelt letters while dinner is on the stove and there are 10 tabs running on the computer.

    I mean, come on!!
The best you will come up with is reminding them that you are looking forward to the Christmas Dinner while completely forgetting to congratulate them on the big milestones they achieved that year. You truly have to empty your mind of all other contents in order to write meaningful letters.


4. Don't be afraid to Share Your Emotions: 

    If you had a disagreement with the person, or felt that they said something that rubbed you the wrong way, you can aways put it in writing. It comes off as more respectful and helps avoid further conflict. Just make sure to follow-up any complaint, resentment or aggravation you have with how much you still look forward to seeing them or clearing things out in person. Often the people worth writing handwritten letters to are also close enough to make bus question why we're writing these letters in the first place. It goes without saying that honesty should be an integral part of your entire life, including handwritten letters.

5. Seal It With A Kiss:
    

    Or at least a superb signature. It is vital for you to learn the Art of Closing the letter with a well-intentioned signature so as to seal the deal, This shows intention and regard for the reader knowing that you were fully engaged and thoughtful when writing the letter from head to toe. It also ends the note on a soft not, showing the human side (aka. your imprint) to a stale piece of paper.

Breaking Generational Curses Series - Part 2

"We are all refugees from our childhoods. And so, we turn, among other things, to stories"
                                                                                      -Mohsin Hamid, How To Get Rich In Rising Asia


Generational Curse #1: Narcissism

    If you search the word Narcissism, thousands on inquiry results will come up. Narcissism is a Hot Topic everywhere, having a rampant and negative effect in dating, politics, culture and family life. Yet, there is no one definition to define Narcissism because it means different things to different people. In my series, I will touch upon Narcissism from my personal life experiences and how they have been shaped through being part of a household run amuck with Narcissistic Parents.


Year 1993: I am born in Lahore, Punjab at CMH. 

Lahore is a bustling metropolitan even back in the 90's. And the 80's. Plus all the way back in to the 40's when Pakistan separated from India. Once India and Pakistan separated, the effects of colonization aside, the wealth once again accumulated to the 1% richest families in Pakistan.

In Lahore, you are either somebody or nobody.

No matter who you are in Lahore, the ideal goal is to land in the top 1%. One of my favourite Pakistani authors, Mohsin Hamid often talks about this shared ideal along the Pakistani working and "middle class". Getting to the top 1% of richest families in Lahore would mean having invitations to the hottest clubs, parties, weddings and running with the elite circles of families. It is a pipe dream sold at the expense of people's sanities. It is also a breeding ground for resentment, unethical business competition and last but not least:- Narcissism. Growing up in Lahore was part of my childhood trauma. You pay a huge price to grow up in a half-cement and half-brick city. One of the biggest costs is not food or shelter, but in fact handing over a huge part of my psyche to keep the pipe dreams of its occupants alive.

The Soul in Post-Modern American Capitalism: Part 1

        "I put my heart and soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process"
                                                                                                                          -Vincent Van Gogh



' I have been trying to find my Soul In Capitalism for a long time. I realized I have been trying to justify my life. All the time. To everyone and everything. It's been so unconscious that as the programming comes to surface, I sort of almost fall into a deep, empty void.

    I feel like work is the only way I have to relate to the world. I sometimes feel like my entire existence is just being a cog in the wheel. A vehicle to produce a two-second sound byte that might just come out right.

    Believe me when I say this, I am scared of facing a slow impeding reality.
Do I even have a soul? Is it a made-up thing?
I have been trying to prove something my whole life. Walking around with a chip on my shoulder and seeking to prove my worth on every chance I get. Maybe it's my inner demons unleashed; maybe I'm a product of my dysfunctional environment.Maybe I want to make my anxiety just go away so I would rather stay busy.
Maybe my crazy is my only refuge and peace.


    I've been happy about the fact that finding my soul has at least become one of my goals in life. I consider myself rendered useless without goals; In effect, goals being these abstract notions of a certain formula/design I can apply to my life, to make it more glamorous, exciting and fulfilling.

    Life is so short. I know that.
But it's also so, so, so, soooooooooooooo beautiful.
I can just love life for what it is, or walk away with my shoulders shrugged and sink back into more sorrow.I can do both simultaneously and still have the experience.
It's just, my experience is diluted without capitalism at it's fore-front. I'm not sure that's just the way life was designed, or my own personal character flaw.

    All I know is that the deeper I dive into soul, the more the notion of a matrix comes to the surface and the more I run into my real intentions.
Turns out they're not so pure.

Breaking Generational Curses Series A: Part 1

    The progression of my life has forever seemed to hinge upon something. When I was young, it seemed to be upon my Dad's arrival from Dubai, where he used to work. My mother would wait for days, months, and years waiting for his arrival. He was always so caught up, so recklessly self-absorbed to the detriment of his own well-being. The entire home seemed to hinge upon his permission to go out, enjoy ourselves and just breathe. If daddy had a bad day, guess who was going to bear the brunt of it. Waiting on a Narcissist as a child can really wear you out emotionally, before you even develop your emotional repertoire.

    My entire childhood also depended upon the organization of family activities as according to my mom. Not once did she bother to notice my unique tendencies or cuts in nature. In fact, she often discouraged me from being my authentic self. Even to this day, all the stacks of notes and books I have in my room bother her. I know she not so secretly wished for a different me. It's not much that she doesn't know that the one thing I am most passionate about in the world is writing, it's just that she chooses to overlook it. It's an uncomfortable reality when your daughter finds refuge in dead people and dead trees more than her own family and people she is surrounded by. I can imagine her disdain at knowing I will never care about family functions, weddings or family gossip the way she did. She made her disdain known in terms of my looks, education, mannerisms, skin tone, dialect and way of relating to people. She always tried to whisk me into a more sophisticated me. She always wished for a more constrained and reserved me. Perhaps just like her mother did of her.

I can see the motivations behind it though. Through me, her youth is relived but in a more idealized manner. I don't have any blame or resentment against her for having this way of relating to me. A lot of women are guilty for doing so. We tend to project our unfulfilled fantasies of what would have made our lives better onto our kids. The way mothers do it to their daughters is interesting because it tends to hold generational trauma of certain sorts. There is also an unspoken resentment between Narcissistic Mothers and their Daughters. The competition that eats away at their bond silently. There is always a standard to be measured up to. The close you get to that level, the more the mother raises the bar. So that you're never good enough for her. It's nothing personal though; It's just she only feels safe when she's sitting up high in her ivory tower. It's the only way for her to feel superior. She'll never praise you for your accomplishments. In fact, they're not even up for discussion. In her eyes, the only accomplishments worth noting are her sacrifices.

      It's these traumas and projections that I want to take a deep dive into and explore as a way of not only offering insight to you guys, but also pave a way for deep, reflective, meaningful and productive healing for my damaged heart. As I head into middle-age, where God has blessed me with a new start, I have decided to decode and make sense of, what I carry as a result of, the family I am from for my damaged heart.



Breaking Generational Curse # 1: Narcissism

    This words sits with me uncomfortably because I never identified myself as a full-on Narcissist. Not until I lived long enough to see the damage my Narcissism was doing to my relationships, health and career.

    Narcissism is absolutely essential to Survival. Along with good boundaries and a strong effort on achieving self-sufficiency. However, Narcissism becomes Lethal when it means hurting the ones we love. Out of spite and pettiness. It's deadly when we use it to justify to us and the world why everyone should feel sorry for us. Narcissism is a trauma passed down in many families. The repercussions of it can be seen all over the Media; Kylie Jenner & Travis Scott's Breakup, An overall rise in Divorce Rates, The unabashed war between men and women and an ever present agenda to dehumanize both Genders.

Follow me on my journey to explore Narcissism from the lens of someone who identifies as one and how we can manage and soothe this condition, while continuing to move forward and live healthy lives full of connection, compassion and sentiment.